Preparations

i guess its the timing, 339am, and i lost my sleep like yet again. guess that's cos i slept through the whole day thats why. gona constantly remind myself that "GLORY IS RELEASED BY HARDWORK!" haha. next week will be better.

Self talk therapy: "zx ah, Displine is now your next best friend! "

The greatest barrier in life is from "self". Not one that is imposed by others, nor dictated by circumstances. The freedom of choice along with all its benefits, do have another side to it, that is the effects of its consequence.

A friend of mine called in despair, seeking directions and advise for a easier way out from his problems. He wanted to enjoy the sweetness of ministry, without first paying the price-going through the discipleship to get there. Though he was geniune in serving God and serving His people, he missed out on a very impt principal- that's you can never go far in something you've never prepare for.

We go through 6 years of primary school so that one day we may face our giant-the PSLE. When we go to secondary school, we go through yet again 4-5 years of preparation before we're ready to face our O Levels. and on and on and on... that's our route in our pursuit of our qualifications.

How much more it is for our heavenly qualifications? To be qualified and endorsed by God Himself that we're ready to answer His call and enter into His ministry.

We all do struggle through the 6 years in primary school and the 5 years for me in secondary school from time to time. And for me, i very much limped through all of them. Till the last few years of my sec days, when i was finally awaken to the imptance of being "certified" to qualify in life. To God that's very much allowing us to be who we are, with imperfections and weaknesses-some visible while other is not, to be chosen to do His good and acceptable and perfect will. Very hard task indeed.

He allow us to struggle, not to laugh at how miserable we look when we do limp from time to time...but to see that at the end of it, we choose the right thing. To fight and choose that which is right! Struggles in life is like the fiery furnance-scary, dragful yet a necessity, one that we cant live without. Through the fiery furnance, He allows us to be trained, to be refined, to be strengthened, to be empowered, to be moulded and be yielded.

Face your struggles, face your problems, face them and rise above!

It's indeed scary to face them, yet i've learnt that it is even more scary to NOT face them. to rely on your own strength and keep on walking, to put on a brave front yet on the inside the strong current of struggles flow... the price to pay for the error that you could have prevented is much more heavier and severe, and you dont wana come to a place where God Himself have to discipline you because you refused to face your enemy-that's yourself.

It's for your good, for you to be rightly moulded, that you are allowed to go through this... face it, deal with it right, and move on...so that in the future, when you do step into your calling that you wont bend in compromise when the pressures of life come crashing you! you still have a bright future my friend, you're not a failure.

If falling down equates failing, that would have made all of us a failure.

"A righteous man may fall 7 times, yet each time the Lord shall lift him out..."
The falling isnt the problem, the crying to God (approaching His appointed leaders in your life) for help is!

God is good, He never leaves us helpless.

May His peace be with you.

Baby Jayden!

Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing to you the youngest addition to my family, Baby Jayden!

He was born on 25/06/2007 at Gleneagles hospital... He weighs 3.25kg, and have big round beautiful eyes! hahaha!

And guess what, I'm an Uncle now. wahaha. =)

back

Back from my cell group chalet!

Its nice to be back HOME...to be able to sleep on your old comfy bed...to be able to mess things up and have your Mama clean for you...to have your parent pay everything for you...to be able to sleep and sleep and sleep with no one else watching, to be able to sleep in peace with no sound of snoring as your background...oh my oh my...it's my mini heaven. Wahaha!

Its amazing how when people from all walks of life come together to be confined in a shared space for a period of time...get open up to one another.

but i drag the thought that tml onward, its the start of the new term already! argh.

Faith confession: "GLORY is released by HARD WORK. " (Say 100 times, it helps!)

Stay positive!

You turned my mourning into dancing,

and turned my sadness to joy.

Oh, I wana dwell in the court of Your house for eternity,

And have nothing more than to have You by my side forever...

You're the best thing that happened to me.

You once taught me how to stand on my feet when i fall,

I will find the courage and strength to get up again.

By Your mercy, and Your grace.

Search my heart, and see that my love for You is true.

You are the strength of my heart, when everything else fail.

You tore the veil, and made a way when You said that "It is done."

I believe, i will find that way.

To find You and present myself in bended knees.

God, lead me please.

random rants

It's 3.50am, and i lost my sleep. I suspect im suffering from some sleeping disorder or something. Abit pathetic.

Maybe its the timing, im feeling abit emo at this moment. Alot of things happened recently. Don't really wana go into details. Disappointment upon disappointments. Feelings like everything is caving in on me.

Everything changed. And now, i've to find the strength to crawl out of all this mess-created by me. I know we ought to be moving forward, people say time heals. But the truth is, time is just something we used to cover our open wound with. It never heals, unless we do something about it. But what? What should be done?

It was one of the worse experience so far for me. To see my friend turned a foe before my eyes. To hear things from a perspective that i had never expect to hear from. To find out that we haven't been seeing things eye to eye. What have i done? I never expected our friendship to turn out this way. "Disgusting?"I accept it. Im sorry, i guess there's nothing can be done to change that. Felt like someone had just dropped hot charcoal on my foot, it hurts and the pain wont go. The truth is, i always thought we were playing. I didn't think twice about anything more. Why would i lie about that? I regarded my friendship with your sister as a real and treasured one. Sigh, I dont know why things would turn out this way. Everytime i watch deal or no deal, i get reminded of this whole misunderstanding. I'm sorry. I didn't live the mark. I guess if i wouldnt have such a dark past, you probaby wont feel this way. I can only blame myself.

God, please take control.

Deal or no deal? (Continue)

Deal Or No Deal?

Life is like a game, they say. Well it does seem to be liken to one sometime, but it something much more. It's a game with eternity at stake. One wrong move may very well land you on the wrong side of the fence. And i guess, it would be too late to regret and make amendments when the day comes and you find yourself not where you're supposed to be.

The game gets started when we're given the exclusive rights to choose freely between Jesus and all the stuff in the other boxes. Once we've made our decision, we must hold on to our choice or decide to trade if you feel the devil has given you a fair deal.

We spend the rest of the time opening up boxes.

We get happy when we open up the "small numbers". We rejoice seeing the small miserable problems in life go away. We're glad to see the petty issue of life go away...We know we're one box nearer to Jesus. Life is not as smooth sailing as you may picture it,sometimes in life, we mess up as we open up boxes with big amounts knowing that we shouldn't have picked that. Only to suffer the consequence of it, we feel the pain of seeing some big pride, big ego, big dreams go. We get all insecure on the inside, regretting the bad decisions we make. Everyone will get a taste of that. Well, life still goes on.

The evil banker, on a predestined time, would come again and again to test us as he offer seemingly "reasonable tradeoffs". He offers to trade away Jesus, along with our calling that are in our hands, in attempt to trick us into living a compromised life.

"Deal or no deal?" he asks.

And the truth about him is this. When he sees that you have a greater chance of walking off with Jesus...he offers you better, bigger, more tempting deals. He wait for you to open the wrong boxes before he pounds on you, offering you bad deals in an attempt to condemn, mock and despise you. "He wants you to walk away with as little as possible..." the host would emphasize.

It would be a shame to last through the whole show, knowing that you're given the opportunity of a lifetime, to do something great...yet finding yourself with the wrong box at the very end.

I wonder if Jesus will be your first and last choice?

Just how much did it take to get you trade off your calling? A bowl of soup maybe?

Do not despise your birthright.

I hope we can all walk away at the end of the day, knowing we have made the right choice.

Deal or no deal?

the evil banker in the hit show Deal or No Deal resembles the annoying Devil who's constantly on the lookout for opportunity to get us to succumb to compromise, whispering so ever softly and tenderly in our ears : "Deal or no deal?"

Just how much will it take to get you trade away your calling?

The moment of glory

"Life is short..."

My lecturer would often remind the class. It was his unique way of urging the class to live life purposefully. I never really did understand what he meant, till i bothered to think about my future. I just came from my childhood friend's dad funeral and i had some time to travel back home alone. With his dad now gone, after losing the battle with cancer, I sat at the wake wondering how the future would unfold for him. He now have to shoulder the burden of keeping the family going, and he has to serve NS next month. What about degree? How would life turn out for him? Questions that were running through my head, while the answers not found.

The average lifespan of a person in singapore is about 70 years, with the help of advance medical science and raised quality of life. That is if tragedy don't get you before your time.

I am 20 already. Say i have 50 years ahead of me still...

50 years x 365days each year = 18,250 days.

18,250 days x 24hours each day = 438,000 hours.

438,000 hours x 60mins = 26,280,000 mins.

I am left with 18,250 days to impact this world. To enage culture. To lift Christ's name high. To help those who can't help themselves. To bring the gospel to places where the light don't shine.

After reflecting and reviewing how i have lived my life, i can only say i've yet to live up to the mark. All the worldly pursuits needa go. All the wrong attitudes needa change. All the wrong habits have to be dropped. I gotta change how i embrace the future and live each day in it worth.

"Live for the moment of glory."

-Ps Kong-

I was once lost, depressed and totally messed up. Till Christ came and lifted the veil of my eyes. I now see the value i have in Him. And that value or glory is released by hard work.

Let me explain...Ever saw on TV how some old auntie and uncle save up their life saving and keep them under their bed in old rusty metal boxes? Well, the money was unreleased and its potential was never fully maximised. What about you? Would God be able to say :"Well done my good and faithful servant" or "Man, I had so much more installed ahead of you...

Keep working hard. As you work hard with the spirit of excellence...You shine for Him. And as you keep shining, one day...you'll light up the entire place.

Like how Moses defeated the odds and rose to fulfill God's call in His life as the deliverer of Israel from the Egpytian bondage...and how King David got up, pursued the heart of God and served his generation or how Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him to fulfill His Father's will. We must arise, and know its time we live for the moment of glory....

May our lives be glorifying to our King.

Amen.

Angry

Consider your friends well.

One of the worse things to experience in life is to think that you have true friends at one moment, yet at the blink of an eye all you feel is the sting of the knife stabbed right at your back.

Another example of a bad experience is to have your back against the wall in the face of half truth. The corners closes in on you and all you could do is to bend your knees in compromise, the flame on the inside burns strong with anger fueled by the sight of how selfish and ruthless man can get to save his own ass.

Truth when twisted can become very damaging lie.

While everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, we must know that we're responsible for the words that proceeds out of our mouth.

When you twist the facts and mix it around with a deadly dose of "feelings", so that what comes out of the mess for you is symthathy from others not responsiblity from self...that's so...

"To salvage a friendship" was my goal. Yet when i stepped onboard, the future unfold otherwise. Clearly that was only my goal, when the darts of accusations began to soar.

"Solution" was missing, and "closure" alike. How can there be any, when that wasn't the goal in the first place. People say the truth hurts, i say half truth hurts more. When fingers were thrown at each other, and the truth no where to be found. What's left are some angry people, hurting one another.

"What you feel may not be what's fact," painful lesson learnt.

"Be angry but do not sin..."

I'm angry with myself. No more Lord. No more nonsense from me.

He's the strength

You're the strength of my heart.
Nothing else matters.

Point me the right direction.

nothing stands between us...

nothing stands between us,
if i remain focused ON You...

nothing can seperate us,
if i stay in the middle of the road...

when all else fade,
when visions turn blury
and hope turn into dust...

You remain my anchor,
my hope, my help, my all.

when circumstance rise above me,
and i find it hard to see and breathe,

i know You'll be there,
right beside me to hold my sinking hands...

You take me beyond my wildest dream.

Even if i've to stand alone with You,
pls know, i will...

Emerge Personal Testimony

It's testimony time!

Wa, it felt like GCE O Level exams... haha.
But being in top 6 for personal testimony was fun!

Though i didn't win,i managed to overcome my stage fright...haha.


Next year gona try again... =)