It's 3.50am, and i lost my sleep. I suspect im suffering from some sleeping disorder or something. Abit pathetic.
Maybe its the timing, im feeling abit emo at this moment. Alot of things happened recently. Don't really wana go into details. Disappointment upon disappointments. Feelings like everything is caving in on me.
Everything changed. And now, i've to find the strength to crawl out of all this mess-created by me. I know we ought to be moving forward, people say time heals. But the truth is, time is just something we used to cover our open wound with. It never heals, unless we do something about it. But what? What should be done?
It was one of the worse experience so far for me. To see my friend turned a foe before my eyes. To hear things from a perspective that i had never expect to hear from. To find out that we haven't been seeing things eye to eye. What have i done? I never expected our friendship to turn out this way. "Disgusting?"I accept it. Im sorry, i guess there's nothing can be done to change that. Felt like someone had just dropped hot charcoal on my foot, it hurts and the pain wont go. The truth is, i always thought we were playing. I didn't think twice about anything more. Why would i lie about that? I regarded my friendship with your sister as a real and treasured one. Sigh, I dont know why things would turn out this way. Everytime i watch deal or no deal, i get reminded of this whole misunderstanding. I'm sorry. I didn't live the mark. I guess if i wouldnt have such a dark past, you probaby wont feel this way. I can only blame myself.
God, please take control.
